Care To Join My Party? (Take 2)

This was originally published yesterday and then I sent it back to draft and published Is It Possible To Be a Truth Teller and Spread Hope?

I decided to republish it because it was my truth at the time. I needed to write it to get where I am today .

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On Sunday, January 6th, the first day of Epiphany, the priest of my church passed around index cards with a word written on each one. There were enough for each congregant. The word chosen would be a “tool to use to open ourselves up to God’s unexpected presence in our lives” in 2019.

Oh, goody. I love this kind of stuff. Anything that helps me discern Gods presence in my life is right up my alley.

Since I’m in the choir, I got my special word early. As instructed, I didn’t look at it until after the sermon. I felt like a kid on Christmas morning, anxiously waiting to open my first gift.

I listened to the words of the sermon and was so inspired. What word would I get?!

As the sermon ended, I turned the card over and my heart sunk.

“Difference”

I felt like a 5-year-old who opened the gift containing socks.

“Wait! I got this one already! Can I trade it for another?”

Initially, I did the right thing and listed everything that came to mind on the back of the card.

Learning difference.

All the difference.

Make a difference.

Embrace Difference.

Accept difference.

Blah, blah, blah, different, different, different, mother fucking different.

The story of my life. I have always felt different. Why? Bam! Alcoholism. I wanted children, BAM! “Different” kids.

That word never escapes me and that’s the word I picked. Where’s the “normal” card? Can I do a “tradesies”?

The first draft I wrote about this day was a complete farce. I tried to make it all rosey and positive. But, I’m sorry, I just can not be rosey right now because I am annoyed.  Call me childish and ungrateful, but I need a break from being different. I already completed what I listed on the back of my index card after countless conversations with God.

Can I turn it in and pick the word “normal”?

While I’m at it, perhaps I’ll take the “better attitude” card, too.

2 thoughts on “Care To Join My Party? (Take 2)

  1. Sarah, look at the difference in your life now vs where you were before. Do we still make mistakes and get under our old bad selves, yes. But look and see how far you have come. You should be glad of the differences you have accomplished and not believe the lies of satan telling there is no difference. You know better. Own it.

    Liked by 1 person

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