It’s my birthday today!
For reasons I can not explain, I experience heightened anxiety for about a week leading up to my birthday. But when I wake up on December 4th, the anxiety has disappeared.
So far today , I have fed my children breakfast, sent them off to school , showered and listened to some podcast episodes while doing some light cleaning. Over the course of this time , I heard the chime of my phone alerting me that a text came through. All have been birthday sentiments. It warms my heart. There was a time when I did not think my Birthday was important. I’m glad I don’t feel that way anymore.
One of the first messages that came through was from my mother. Hearing from her on birthday has always been the most meaningful for me equal to that of my father. But, my mother. It’s different. She grew me in her womb. I lived inside of her for 9 months. I did not understand just how profoundly that defines our relationship until I had children of my own.
Some mother -daughter relationships can be a bit of a roller coaster at times (Aka teenage-hood). My mother and I did not dodge that bullet. In sobriety, I have found our relationship has grown and blossomed in incredibly beautiful and sacred ways.
Mom is dedicated to nurturing her relationships with family and friends. Her children and husband (my dad) mean a great deal to her and she puts in an enormous amount of heart and soul into caring for those relationships.
She has been my biggest hero in my life in recovery. She has stood proudly on the side lines (and sometimes in the thick of things) cheering me on. She holds me when I am feeling full of despair. She celebrates with me when I reach milestones of any kind.
My mother knows me in ways that I often feel I can not see just yet. I hope one day I can.
I love her so intensely, that sometimes it feels like my heart is squeezed a bit too tightly. Maybe it’s because I listened to our hearts beating simultaneously for 9 months. Or maybe it’s just because I was blessed to get her for my mom; an amazing woman, who inspires me daily.
Thank you for being my greatest support.
Thank you for showing me how to be resilient.
Thank you for showing me how to be courageous.
Thank you for showing me how the Wilderness is safe and guiding me toward it – (it’s where I found God, and myself).
Thanks for never giving up on me.
Thank you for always loving me.
Thank you, Mom and Dad for choosing to bring me into this world through your love for each other and for God.
My mother sent me the following piece. It is written by someone unknown. But when I read it, it feels like my mother wrote it for me. ❤️
When God created woman he was working late on the 6th day…….
An angel came by and asked.” Why spend so much time on her?”
The lord answered. “Have you seen all the specifications I have to meet to shape her?”
She must function on all kinds of situations,
She must be able to embrace several kids at the same time,
Have a hug that can heal anything from a bruised knee to a broken heart,
She must do all this with only two hands,”She cures herself when sick and can work 18 hours a day”
THE ANGEL was impressed “Just two hands…..impossible!
And this is the standard model?”
The Angel came closer and touched the woman
“But you have made her so soft, Lord”.
“She is soft”, said the Lord,
“But I have made her strong. You can’t imagine what she can endure and overcome.”
“Can she think?” The Angel asked…
The Lord answered. “Not only can she think, she can reason and negotiate.”
The Angel touched her cheeks….
“Lord, it seems this creation is leaking! You have put too many burdens on her”
“She is not leaking…it is a tear” The Lord corrected the Angel…
“What’s it for?” Asked the Angel….. .
The Lord said. “Tears are her way of expressing her grief, her doubts, her love, her loneliness, her suffering and her pride.”…
This made a big impression on the Angel,
“Lord, you are a genius. You thought of everything.
A woman is indeed marvellous”
Lord said.”Indeed she is.
She has strength that amazes a man.
She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens.
She holds happiness, love and opinions.
She smiles when she feels like screaming.
She sings when she feels like crying, cries when happy and laughs when afraid.
She fights for what she believes in.
Her love is unconditional.
Her heart is broken when a next-of-kin or a friend dies but she finds strength to get on with life”
The Angel asked: “So she is a perfect being?”
The lord replied: “No. She has just one drawback
She often forgets what she is worth.”