This evening I’m trying hard not feel disappointed in myself. I made a mistake today. This mistake came from one of my many character defects -enthusiastic impulsivity. My action was not intentional in hurting or angering anyone, but it did. I was thoughtless. This person’s anger was justified.
Despite my work in AA ; learning how to recognize my mistakes and make amends when needed, I still feel disappointed in myself for failing to NOT have made today’s mistake. So, now I am in a place of sadness and self-pity. How could I have been so thoughtless? Why didn’t I think things through? Well, I suppose it’s because I’m still recovering. I’m still learning. 6 and a half years out of almost 46 years on this earth is not enough to keep me from making mistakes.
I have to remember that I took responsibility for my mistake. I put myself in the other persons shoes. Fortunately, I was forgiven.
What is the most difficult thing for me to do is forgive myself.
The day is not over. I still have a place to be with my son. I think it’s a good time to turn the lights off on my “Pity Party”.