Changing My Role

As children, whether we like it or not, we roll into roles in our family of origin. There is no escaping it. My role was to “be ok.” From my perspective, more pressing issues were going on. It was important that I avoid causing additional conflict. I carried this role with me until I turned 39 and decided it was time to be a Truth Teller or else I would die (from alcoholism). That was 6 and 1/2 years ago and rolling into that new role has been both exhilarating and terrifying. As time goes by, my role is being shaped by new, healthier choices I make due to the work I have put into changing myself.  

Now my role is no longer a “role.”

I am simply “Me.” 

I like who I am. 

I am comfortable in my skin now.

I am free here.

Early stages of the “be ok” Role
I hid my Authentic Self in the drinking role for 25 years
Age 40: Beginning to develop my new role- The Truth Teller/Authentic Self

14 thoughts on “Changing My Role

  1. “It was important that I avoid causing additional conflict” jumped out at me. There wasn’t much outer conflict in my childhood home so it’s not familiar to me. There was depression and anxiety. Being okay was part of my role. I didn’t want to complicate my mother’s mental illness. For much of my adult life, I’ve silently criticized myself for wanting to avoid conflict and feeling wimpy as a result. Now, I know I’m not a wimp. I can do conflict if I need to, but I prefer peace. That’s who I am and I like who I am. It’s interesting how a new perspective can move us along in recovery. Thank you for this, Truth Teller!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Good for you. Yes, we are assigned a role or just simply slip into the one that will get us the most attention, Love and protection. Or some roles keep us out of harms way, like “the shy one” or “the independent one” those were both mine. At some (adult) point these roles we still present ourselves as- backfire as our Spirit wants so much more for us. We were meant for great things. NOT to be dumbed down, light sniffed out – for someone else’s gain. I love the Mexican Proverb : They tried to bury us, they didn’t realize we were seeds. 😘😘😘 you go! And never stop recreating and discovering yourself. I write about my life experiences of this exactly, in my blog. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sarah

      Thanks so much for your comments!! I love how I have the freedom in sobriety to recreate myself – if you write about that , I will surely check out your blog! Thanks for connecting !

      Like

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